My journaling as an anxious perfectionist journey began in elementary school, though we just called it a diary back then. Through the years, I dabbled in it every once in a while, but I didn’t take it seriously until I was working in a therapeutic preschool, and mental health was introduced to me on a much deeper level.

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With the popularity of journaling, bullet journaling, and the gorgeous Pinterest-worthy journal pages plastered all over the internet, the pressures of journaling came to the surface. Are there any other anxious perfectionists out there?

I was not blessed with beautiful handwriting and drawing abilities. I am creative, just not in that way. It can be intimidating to see these “perfect” journal pages that are aesthetically pleasing, proportioned well, and no line out of place. Plus, doodles and drawings that look seamless, while mine are more rough around the edges.

With that, my perfectionism tries to convince me that “not doing it at all is better than trying because it won’t be perfect”. Does anyone else struggle with this?

That voice can be incredibly difficult to live with, and even harder to ignore. It has a way of making us think it’s true, because technically it won’t be “perfect”.

But, just because something isn’t perfect, doesn’t mean it isn’t worth doing.

And, the best way to quiet that anxious perfectionist voice in our heads is to do the damn thing anyways.

Even if it’s messy, ugly, or weird. There is still beauty in that. We don’t have to be perfect at everything we do. We’re allowed to be beginners, to mess up, laugh at our ridiculous doodles, and try something new even if we’re awful at it.

Living in a society where so much of what we see is through social media, with Pinterest and Instagram for example, puts a pressure on us to be like that. If we are perfect like that, we’ll be “happy”.

That is such a lie, and nothing in those supposedly “perfect” images is 100% real.

It is honestly so hard to try and ignore or change our perspective when it comes to those messages sent through social media.

One safe place to do that is a journal.

Below are some tips I’ve learned in my years of journaling experience as an anxious perfectionist, and I hope they inspire you to be perfectly imperfect with your journal.

4 Best Tips for Journaling as an Anxious Perfectionist

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Tip #1: You’re allowed to have an imperfect journal

Something I struggle with, being an anxious perfectionist, is putting pressure on myself with expectations and restrictions for my journal to be “perfect”, “good enough”, and/or “the absolute best journal to exist”. And, if I don’t reach those expectations, then what’s the point of even starting one? I self-sabotage and don’t even try in the first place.

A few years ago, I got a new journal from a close friend that I LOVED for my birthday, and I decided that it was going to be MY journal. And most importantly, I gave myself permission to be imperfect. I found freedom in the imperfection.

So, if this is what you need, I give you permission to have an imperfect journal.

Tip #2: Journaling is for YOU. No one else needs to be involved if you don’t want them to be

An epiphany I had, after giving myself permission to be imperfect, is that no one else will see my journal if I don’t want them to. It can be private, for my eyes only, therefore no one will judge me for having an “ugly” journal.

It felt like I had tricked my brain into being more comfortable with journaling as an anxious perfectionist. And with that, it also helped me feel more comfortable with being able to write about whatever I want to write about, and so can you. Insecurities, emotions, desires, venting, memories, thoughts, whatever your heart desires. It is YOURS, no one else’s.

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Tip #3: Journaling doesn’t need to be a job

I also have an “all or nothing” mindset (I’m still on my journey of working on it). With that, I tell myself that I have to journal every single day, be the best at journaling, and turn it into a “job”. Who wants to do something that’s supposedly “good for you” if it’s a job and stressful? I certainly don’t.

I’m here to tell you, you can journal whenever you damn well please. You don’t have to feel any pressure towards journaling. If you want to journal every day and spend hours decorating it, awesome! If you want to journal once a month, perfect!

Something I’m proud of myself for, I only journal when I feel like it. Sometimes it’s twice a day. Other times it’s months between journal entries. I know self-judgment can be difficult to escape, but you should not feel guilt for how often or how little you journal. You have the right to journal in whatever way looks (and works) best for you.

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Tip #4: Leave room for flexibility and evolution

My perfectionism creates this idea in my head that my journal needs to look aesthetically pleasing, be cohesive, and stick to one theme. Otherwise, it won’t be “perfect”. Well, I’m here to tell you that your journal is allowed to evolve, change, and grow with you.

When I started my journal, I only wanted to use a black pen when writing. But I realized I’m allowed to change my journal whenever I want. I gave myself permission to change. So, I started small by implementing a little color here and there. I’m not the best drawer in the world, but I looked up some easy doodle ideas on Pinterest and decorated some journal pages. Was it always beautiful art? No. But I allowed myself to try.

These days I decorate my journal pages with different colors, writing utensils, stickers, washi tape, and whatever else I want. Your journal can be whatever you want it to be, no one will judge you if your journal isn’t cohesive or perfect (especially if they never see it in the first place). And, if I choose to go back to having only black ink on my pages, I’m allowed to do that, and so are you.

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“My journal helps me to exist in this world.”

Bonus: Journaling has helped with my anxiety and depression

Now, everyone is different. But something I love to do is write, it’s a good outlet for me. Why do you think I started a blog? Journaling was a way for me to put all of my millions of thoughts onto paper, and it helps my brain calm down and not feel as overwhelmed. Especially in those moments when I wasn’t comfortable sharing my thoughts with anyone else. Writing my thoughts down usually helps me see things a different way, or have realizations that are difficult when my thoughts are only in my head.

Moreover, my depression likes to try and convince me that I’m not “worthy” of having a journal or writing my thoughts down. Does anyone else struggle with this? However, that is the farthest thing from the truth. My journal helps me to exist in this world. You’re more than worthy of creating something for yourself, writing your thoughts down, and taking up space in this world.

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There you have it, the 4 Best Tips for Journaling as an Anxious Perfectionist

Just like everything in life, journaling is a process. Journaling as an anxious perfectionist is no different.

You’ll go through a learning process and have some bumps along the way, but in the end, it can be an impactful part of your life. I chose not to break the bank when journaling, but it still required trying out a few things until I found what I liked. With that being said, there is no judgment if you want to break the bank. This is a safe space to live your authentic life, however, you see fit.

A journal is one of the few places in this world where you’re allowed to be your authentic self.

Life is lived in the messy. In the imperfect.

I love looking back at old journal entries with random doodles in them. Some of them actually weren’t too bad. However, there are those few that were rough. But, you know what, those always bring a smile to my face. And I’m proud of myself for letting it be imperfect. Those imperfect doodles deserve to be in my journal just as much as the aesthetically pleasing ones do.

You or your journal does not need to be “perfect” in order to be worthy or deserving of existing. Being messy, making mistakes, being new, and failure helps us grow, learn, and evolve. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are doing just fine, and your journal is allowed to be imperfect.

I hope that I have helped in some small way to get you one step closer to your authentic life and inspire some self-love, self-compassion, and freedom to journal without guilt or judgment.

Thank you for being here with me. I would love to hear any thoughts, tips, or ideas you all have for journaling as an anxious perfectionist, show what your journal looks like (if you feel comfortable doing so, of course), or feel free to ask any questions you may have!