It’s important to take care of yourself, check-in, have some fun, feed your soul, and treat yourself. One way to do that is to date yourself and take yourself on dates!
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We are all busy, trying to take care of ourselves and everyone we love. Finances are stressful, as are everything else that life throws at us.
Do you find yourself in that place where you’re only focusing on chores and everything that needs to get done, it’s been forever since you’ve done anything fun, or you’re starting to feel cranky and resentful towards your partner?
That’s life, but if we don’t give attention to those signals from our body and take care of ourselves, that’s when we get to the burnout stage, and unhealthy habits or mental health issues start to creep in.
One way to help prevent burnout is to date yourself, or at least take yourself on some solo dates. Date nights are important in any relationship, including the relationship with yourself.
5 Important Reasons to Date Yourself
1. Improve Self-Love
First and foremost, taking yourself on a date is a way to cultivate self-love. It’s a way to show yourself that you are worth that time and effort, to be treated well, and to strengthen your connection with yourself. Undoubtedly, the remaining important reasons to date yourself fall under the self-love category.
Here are the 10 greatest tips on how to cultivate self-love!
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2. Take a Break and Do Something Fun
Life is crazy, and will inevitably always be crazy. It’s important to take breaks and do something fun that makes you smile and feel good. It’s easy to get swept up in work, chores, grocery shopping, exercising, making meals, bettering ourselves, caring for family members, etc.
You tell yourself that after everything is done, you’ll be able to relax. PSA: THERE WILL ALWAYS BE MORE TO DO. It is impossible to get everything perfectly done, so it’s important to step away and take a break. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself in a vicious cycle of chores and work and a month later you’ll realize you didn’t do anything genuinely fun. (I’m speaking from personal experience.)
3. Internal Validation vs. External Validation
Moreover, taking yourself on dates emphasizes the importance of seeking validation from yourself, not anyone or anything else.
We are all guilty of waiting for a partner, a loved one, or a new romance to sweep us off our feet, make an incredible effort to plan a date and shower us with love. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that whatsoever. You deserve everything you want. That said, why wait for someone else to shower you with love and validate your effort and existence when you can do that for yourself?
You deserve every bit of that, and it does not need to come from another person to be valid and worthy. You are worthy all on your own. Love from anyone else is a bonus.
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4. Improve Relationships with Others
Taking care of yourself helps to improve relationships with others, whether it be friends, family, your kids, your partner, co-workers, etc. When you focus all of your energy on others and others’ needs, and try to make everyone else happy, it starts to wear you down and burn you out. You become resentful towards others, because you feel like all you do is everything for everyone else, and no one does anything for you.
If you don’t prioritize yourself, how do you expect anyone else to?
Are chores and having a clean house important? Yes. Is being successful at your job also important? Yes. Does making a life and home for yourself and your family and giving your children the life you want them to have important? Also, yes. These are all important and valid things to want and desire. Those should not be belittled or taken lightly. However, it should NOT consume you completely.
When you feel trapped and consumed by these things, it’s easy to become negative and resentful because that’s all you see.
Date yourself and remind yourself that there is an entire world outside of your bubble. There is life out in the world to live every once in a while. Have some fun, feed your soul, treat yourself, and focus on yourself. It is NOT selfish by any means.
Self-love and self-care help prevent burnout and help you be your best, calm, loving, fun, caring self for yourself and the people you care about.
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5. Improve the Connection with Yourself
Dating yourself is one of many ways to connect with yourself and do a self-check-in. Have you been feeling lost? Unsure of who you are? Taking yourself on dates can help find yourself again and discover new interests or indulge in old favorites.
We go through different stages of life and learn and grow. Your interests as a mother in her mid-thirties may differ from when you were twenty-one and in college. Or maybe you need to remember your twenty-one-year-old self and go out to a bar, listen to a local band play some music, and get a fruity cocktail and enjoy yourself.
Additionally, maybe trying different and new things will help you discover a new hobby, or create a fun memory. Maybe you’ll watercolor paint for the first time in years and it rekindles a forgotten joy. It might even spark ideas for future dates with yourself or a loved one. Or even your friends for a girl’s night.
This is a great way to discover who you are at this moment in your life. You are beautiful, creative, loving, unique, and fun. Alongside a million other brilliant adjectives. Find yourself again and show yourself some love because you deserve it exactly as you are RIGHT NOW. Today. This week. This month.
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6 Important Reminders and Guidelines to Successfully Date Yourself
The best part of dating yourself is that you get to choose what you do on the date. Therefore, you will absolutely enjoy it because you get to do what you want to do. You don’t have to be polite and mindful of others, you don’t have to share your food with anyone, and you get to choose how comfy or sexy you want to dress. It is 100% about you and your desires. When does that ever happen anymore?
With that being said, I am including some important reminders to date yourself that I believe will make your date that much more successful. If you’re taking the time to do this, you want to make it count.
1. Schedule It and Commit to It
It is way too easy to have every intention of doing something, but as time goes on, it gets pushed down the to-do list and life gets in the way. Act as if your date with yourself is an important appointment you can’t miss. Not to add stress or pressure, but to emphasize the importance of it. Just like dentist appointments are a form of self-care and important, so is prioritizing yourself.
Buying tickets to an event as your date may help with this. Since you spent the money and it’s on a specific date, it may help to fulfill that commitment. You don’t want to waste your money, it may help incentivize you.
2. Indulge in a Treat
Now this will obviously be personalized to you. With this, you can decide what type of treat, what price point, and how it will tie into your date.
Do you want to get a $5 coffee or tea drink from your favorite local coffee shop and walk around your favorite bookstore?
Do you want to get your favorite candy on your way to a movie that you don’t have to share with anyone? Not a friend, child, or partner? And enjoy every single bite?
Do you want to get pad thai from that amazing Thai restaurant you love because it’s delicious and you don’t want to create any dishes?
Whatever you choose to get, get something that makes you smile. Life is heavy and hard sometimes, and we all need a nice treat and pick me up now and again. And you get to choose YOUR favorite. Try not to let anyone else influence your choice.
3. Buy Yourself Flowers (or something equivalent)
With indulging in a treat, buying yourself flowers or something equivalent deserves its category. I feel like it’s a theme among people who identify as women to desire flowers from someone they love, and can be disappointed when it doesn’t happen. Well honey, buy yourself flowers. Or buy something for yourself that symbolizes that same energy.
Maybe you would rather buy yourself a new book, a new journal, or a Squishmallow that made you smile. Whatever that may be for you, get it. You deserve something that makes you happy.
Plus, it can act as a visual reminder of your date with yourself, bring back fun memories, and remind you to make a recurring thing.
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4. Wear Something that Makes You Feel Good
Again, this will be personalized to you. However, I want you to be mindful and intentional with what you choose to wear. Make it an experience, as if it’s a first date. Did you have that first date experience, having the excited and nervous butterflies, and trying to find the perfect outfit? I want it to be like that, fun and giddy.
I don’t want you to just throw on something you always wear. You are important, and worthy of making an effort for yourself as if you were trying to make an impression on someone else. And don’t forget your hair and makeup (however that looks for you). I personally don’t wear makeup practically ever, so I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing a complete face of makeup with bold lipstick and thick eyeliner, for example. Do whatever makes you comfortable and confident, just make sure it’s whatever an effort feels like for you.
Even if you choose to stay home for your date, choose something that makes you feel like you, and that makes you feel confident and good about yourself.
5. Do NOT do any Chores or other Errands
I know how easy it can be to let chores or quick errands creep into our day because we just want it to get done quickly and mentally mark it off our endless to-do list.
That being said, DO NOT DO ANYTHING ON YOUR DATE THAT FEELS LIKE A CHORE.
The focus should be on you having fun, taking a genuine break from life, and recharging your batteries. It’s important to be mindful of this.
Also, if you have a hard time with that, especially in your home, try and go on dates with yourself outside of the house if possible. I know for me, it’s easier to step away and forget about the random chores around the house if I’m not physically looking at them.
This time is for you, and only you.
6. Be Mindful and Intentional with Every Aspect of the Date
Arguably, being mindful and intentional in any situation is way easier said than done. However, it is extremely important.
This can look like creating an environment and ambiance within your space to help you stay in the moment. For example, lighting candles, using an essential oil diffuser, playing calming music, and using a soft blanket when doing a self-care, craft activity, or movie night at home date night.
Also, setting certain boundaries during this time to focus on yourself. Communicate your plans to your loved ones, ask for help from others if need be to meet your needs, and be intentional with your time. Even if it’s for an hour.
You could also put your phone away during your date with yourself, to help stay in the moment. Maybe ask a loved one to help babysit so you can focus on yourself.
Whatever it looks like for you, taking yourself on dates will be successful when you focus on yourself, and your needs, and choose yourself. You deserve it. You are worthy of self-love.
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Now that you’ve got the right foundation, let’s get to the fun stuff!
I want you to be open, creative, gentle, compassionate, and excited when you decide what and where you want to date yourself. This is for YOU, so do what feels right in your heart. You’ve got this!
12 Solo Date Ideas to Date Yourself and Show Yourself Some Much-Needed Love
1. At-Home Self-Care Date
I feel like the at-home self-care night has gotten diluted and lost with the popularity and watering down of “self-care” in general. However, it is undoubtedly one of the greatest date ideas to date yourself. It can be budget-friendly, there are endless possibilities, and you get to be in the comfort of your home in comfy clothes or pajamas.
Here is The Ultimate List of Amazon At-Home Self-Care Essentials that will make your self-care solo date perfect!
For a solo date night, elevate what you would normally do for self-care. Again, be mindful and intentional with the execution.
Take a few extra minutes to create the environment with a shower or bath. Put on music that creates the vibe you are going for. You could also light some candles. For a bath, use bath salts, bath soak, or a bath bomb. Get a shower fizz ready to take with you into the shower to create a calming aroma with the steam.
Furthermore, use a sugar scrub to exfoliate your skin. Take extra time to pamper yourself, feel the sensations of washing your skin, and connect with your body on a sensory level. Once you’re out of the bath or shower, apply your favorite skincare and/or a face mask and moisturize everything.
Here’s an in-depth post for The Best Shower Routine for Mindfulness, Connection, and Self-Love.
Here’s The Best Skin Care Products on Amazon for Dry Skin that focuses solely on skin care.
You could preemptively prepare for being home, and earlier that day or week get your treat of choice or your favorite take-out meal to savor after pampering your body.
While wearing your face mask, you could also choose a book to read. Journal for a little while, and do a self-check-in about your life and how you’re feeling. You could also put on a movie or TV show that you’ve been meaning to watch, or a classic that always makes you laugh. Maybe you’ll take advantage of some time alone and meditate.
Here are 4 budget-friendly journaling supplies that will make you actually WANT to journal!
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Another one of my favorite forms of self-care is painting my nails. Cleaning and prepping my nails, choosing what colors correlate with my mood, and being careful to paint them. I find it mindful and calming.
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Needless to say, your possibilities are endless when it comes to a self-care date night to date yourself. And, this doesn’t have to be a one-time thing. It can be a ritual you come to love and look forward to.
Some Essentials for the Perfect Self-Care Solo Date Night:
- The BEST foot spa! My boyfriend got it for me, and I honestly love it so much! It massages your feet AND heats the water for you!
- Wearing a comfy robe always feels luxurious, and somehow it makes the at-home self-care experience that much better! This one also comes in a ton of colors, and goes up to a 3X!
- I love any Tree Hut Sugar Scrubs, it’s always my go-to. Exfoliates my skin so well, and smells amazing!
- Hempz Lotion is the GREATEST lotion! It always feels amazing on my skin, and never leaves a weird residue behind. Always my go-to lotion!
- This Mario Badescu Facial Toner has done wonders for my dry skin! An absolute must!
The Ultimate List of Amazon At-Home Self-Care Essentials also has the entire essentials list for any self-care solo date you choose to do!
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Playlists to Listen to During Your At-Home Self-Care:
- This 22 Greatest Self-Love Songs to Dance Your Heart Out To
- The Best Self-Love Country Songs That Every Cowgirl Needs
- The Greatest ‘In My Feels’ Self-Love Playlist
- The Best Self-Love Musical Songs from Movies and Musicals
2. Movie Date
For this next date idea, it can be done at home, or you could go to a movie theater. Going solo to the movies is sincerely underrated. It’s honestly the best.
Regardless of location, snacks and treats are an integral part of this date. It helps create the experience, plus you deserve to treat yourself.
Sometimes I have snacks at home that I want, so I’ll pack them up in my purse to enjoy at the theater. Sometimes my boyfriend and I will stop at a convenience store to get a few candies or snacks, and either have them in the theater or enjoy them at home when we watch a movie.
I’m not sure if there’s some unwritten rule, but movie theaters hands down have the BEST blue raspberry ICEE’s. They are glorious and the perfect consistency, and go perfectly with salty snacks in my humble opinion.
Also, don’t forget to take your cozy blanket with you to the theater. Getting cozy with my blanket, especially if the theater has those fancy recliner seats, makes the experience that much better.
Plus, I have no shame and I will wear sweatpants and a comfortable sweater or sweatshirt to the movies. I approve of anywhere I can socially acceptably wear sweatpants, bring my favorite Buffy the Vampire Slayer blanket to snuggle with, and perfect snacks. As well as, not having to talk or socialize with people when I don’t feel like it. It doesn’t get much better than that if you ask me.
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3. Bookstore or Library
I love the atmospheres of bookstores and libraries. They’re calm and welcoming, and there’s no pressure to rush or be in a hurry. You could walk around looking at books for hours, unbothered, and find something new to read and get lost in, or a cookbook with inspirational recipes. It’s glorious.
Create the date experience by wearing something you love. I would recommend shoes you don’t mind standing or walking in for a while.
You may also be interested in the best self-love playlist for when you’re in your feels.
You could also get a fun and comforting beverage you carry around with you while you browse everything. My personal favorites are a matcha latte or a chai latte.
The Greatest Matcha Latte You Can Make At Home to bring with you to the bookstore or library!
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4. Coffee Shop or Bakery
Coffee shops and bakeries are another great option when you want to treat yourself, and can sit down and take your time without feeling rushed.
This idea can be grouped with the bookstore or library date idea, as well. You can take your new book and start reading it once you have a delicious pastry to munch on.
You can take a book you already have at home that you’ve been meaning to read. A journal and your favorite journal supplies would also be a great way to enjoy a yummy beverage and check in with yourself.
40+ Self-Love Journal Prompts for Self-Discovery and Self-Compassion
4 budget-friendly journaling supplies that will make you WANT to journal!
Also, here’s The 4 Best Tips for Journaling as an Anxious Perfectionist
It’s also a chance for you to treat yourself to a special treat, and take a breath and a short break from your life for a little bit.
Book Recommendations:
- Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers
- On Rotation by Shirlene Obuobi
- Breaking All the Rules by Amy Andrews
- When in Rome by Sarah Adams and Practice Makes Perfect by Sarah Adams
- It Ends with Us (Book 1) by Colleen Hoover and It Starts with Us (Book 2) by Colleen Hoover
- Happy Place by Emily Henry
- The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
- Things We Never Got Over (Knockemout Book 1) by Lucy Score
Self-Love Journal with 49 Journal Prompts and 3 Self-Love Checklists!
5. Cook or Bake
You can make this date-yourself date night idea as complex or simple as you like. You could bake a box mix of muffins, or finally try out that recipe you’ve been meaning to try for months. Reading cookbooks is underrated in my opinion.
I do recommend creating the environment. Put on some music, grab a glass of wine or another beverage of choice to sip while you cook, and be in the moment as best you can.
12 Must-Have Kitchen Essentials That Will Make Your Life That Much Easier
Being in the kitchen alone can be calming and therapeutic. Chopping vegetables can help me get out of my head for a little while. In a chaotic world, following a recipe can help bring structure.
You could also look into cooking classes if you want to get out of the house and away from your kitchen. If you have to pay for your spot, that may be another incentive to commit to the date night.
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6. Craft Activity
A crafty date night is a great way to tap into your creativity. Art can also be great for your mental health.
Maybe you have a craft project you’ve been meaning to try and work on, but haven’t gotten around to. A date-yourself date night is a perfect opportunity for that. You could get your favorite drink, or some delicious takeout to enjoy while you craft.
There are endless possibilities when it comes to crafting. It may take some prep so you have the supplies you need ready for you. You could paint or watercolor paint and follow a tutorial on YouTube. Buy one of those jewelry-making kits. Make a tie blanket for yourself or someone you love.
This ‘in my feels’ self-love playlist would be great to listen to while you craft.
Here’s an upbeat self-love playlist if you want something with more energy while you’re crafting!
Again, this can be an opportunity to find a class to go to in your town, at a community center, or a school. Committing to a class may help incentivize you. Plus, someone else is responsible for all the supplies and can help instruct you which is never a bad thing. You could sign up for a pottery class, one of those paint-and-sip nights, learn how to draw, etc.
Craft Ideas:
- Self-Love Coloring Pages
- Self-Love Activity Book
- Watercolor painting (paint and paint brushes, watercolor paper)
- Coloring (coloring book, colored pencils)
- Mug Painting Kit
- Candle Making Kit
- Succulents Art Kit
- Soap Making Kit
7. Exercise, and/or Doing Something Active
Exercise can do wonders for your mental health. Sometimes scheduling and committing to it can be tricky with everything going on in our busy lives. Maybe this can be a chance to incorporate both exercise and dating yourself into your life at the same time.
Put on an outfit that makes you feel powerful, and put in a little extra effort to put your hair into a ponytail or braids. Something elevated to make this date special and fun.
Take yourself to the gym, sign up for an exercise class you’ve always wanted to try, or find a fun dance cardio workout on YouTube to shake your booty too if you want to stay home.
Here are the 22 Greatest Self-Love Songs Perfect for Your Next Work Out!
The Best Self-Love Country Songs That Every Cowgirl Needs
You could also get outside and take a long walk, or a hike even. Getting out in nature and getting some fresh air will help get outside of your usual bubble and routine.
Afterward, treat yourself to a delicious smoothie or an amazing salad. Something delicious and fresh to give your body some love.
The Best and Easiest Chocolate Peanut Butter Smoothie with PBfit
This can be a great way to connect with your body, appreciate everything it does for you, and a natural way to better your mental health.
This is a link to the BEST leggings on Amazon! I’m honestly just adding them because they’re my absolute favorite. They fit great, are comfortable, have pockets, and are a great price for the quality! In my experience, I had to size down to a Large(L) instead of an Extra-Large(XL). I felt like they fit better and stayed in place better. This is coming from a woman who has an actual lower belly, for the record. They’re available in sizes XS-3XL.
Here is a link to the BEST biker shorts! It’s the same brand as the leggings. Again, they’re my absolute favorite, they fit great, are comfortable, have pockets, and are a great price for the quality! With these, they’re more true to size. I got them in an Extra-Large(XL). The Large(L) was too tight. As mentioned before, this is coming from a woman who has an actual lower belly. They’re also available in sizes XS-3XL.
8. Sports Theme
Watching a sporting event can be fun, and it usually has awesome snacks and food associated with it. A win-win in my book! What is your favorite game-day food?
You can choose a sporting event to go to and watch. Get your favorite concessions snacks, and root on your team! This can be another instance of buying a ticket to help incentivize you to keep the date with yourself.
You could also go to a bar or restaurant to watch the game and get some good food and a favorite drink.
Whatever you choose to do, this is a great opportunity to dress up a little bit and elevate your look. You can use the colors of your favorite team as inspiration!
Another option, watch the sporting event in the comfort of your own home on TV. You can order some amazing takeout food to eat while you watch the game. Alternatively, you could make your favorite snacks and food at home to munch on during the game.
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The Best and Easiest Buffalo Chicken Wraps
9. Play or Musical
Another great example that can require buying a ticket in advance, which may help keep the date easier. Plus, it is a great way to support local businesses and people in your community.
It’s also a great reason to dress up and do your hair. Wear something more on the fancy side.
Plays and musicals are a great way to escape life for a little while. They can be beautiful and inspirational.
Sometimes it can be difficult to find someone who will go to a play or musical with you. Conflicting schedules or differences in taste can make it tricky. There’s no reason you can’t go by yourself before the chance passes you by.
10. Live Music or Concert
In addition to a play or musical, take yourself on a date to live music or a concert. Again, you can buy tickets in advance. Another option, find a local venue or bar that has live music. Usually in a bar, it’s free. I love live music regardless of what it is.
Sometimes it’s nice to not have to commit to an entire concert, you could go to a local bar for an hour or two and have a fun and more casual experience. You could get a drink or some food if you’d like. Just something simple and different to get out of the house for a little bit.
11. Gaming or Game Night
For this next date yourself idea, I was inspired by my boyfriend. He loves gaming on his computer. If that’s something you’re into, it’s a great way to escape and have fun in the comfort of your own home.
To make it a date-yourself experience, be intentional with a cute yet comfortable outfit.
This is a great excuse to get some snacks you love, or some takeout food that you can eat while you game. Make it a night of carefree fun.
Fall Guys is a great game to play on the computer. It doesn’t take a ton of effort, and the characters and obstacles make it hilarious to play. On the Nintendo Switch, my boyfriend and I also love Nickelodeon Kart Racers 2. It’s a racing game, similar to Mario Kart, but cheaper and just as fun, if not more. Plus, I love all the Nickelodeon characters, such a throwback.
12. Shopping
Last, but certainly not least, is retail therapy. I may have inherited the enjoyment of shopping from my mom. It can be a great experience.
Put on some sensible shoes for walking a lot, put on a cute shopping outfit, and do your hair. Grab yourself a drink or snack you love to have with you in the stores. Regardless of your budget, or where you choose to shop, make it an experience.
You work hard every day. Life is hard. You deserve to treat yourself and get something just for you that you love! Whatever it may be.
For those of us on a budget, I love shopping at Dollar Tree when I need a retail therapy fix. You still get the experience of getting out of the house and finding new and exciting things, but you only spend about $20. Additionally, my other favorites are HomeGoods, Five Below, Target (always got to check out the dollar section), and Old Navy (they have a great sales section, and actually carry clothes in my XXL size which is always appreciated.)
There you have it, everything you need to date yourself, including 12 fun solo date ideas!
What date will you choose first? I would love to hear all about it! Remember that you deserve this. Show up for yourself, prioritize your happiness and well-being, and cultivate self-love so that you can live your most genuine and beautiful life.
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